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Self control is a skill everyone wants for their children. Parents often ask “What should I do when my children are angry and upset?”
Start with gaining self control:
· Figure out what behaviours push your buttons. What makes you feel angry or frustrated with your children?
· Understand your physical signals when feeling angry or distressed. For example: clenched teeth, hot cheeks, clenched fists.
· Choose a strategy to get calm. Try: slow breaths, counting, getting space, asking for help.
It‘s important parents remain calm when children are upset and angry. Children are impulsive; they react when things don’t go the way they want. Parents can teach children how to get calm and gain self control. Teaching happens when everyone is calm. Talk to children later about upsetting situations, when they’re calm. Acknowledge their feelings and help them learn about emotions using stories, pictures and words. Tell children what they can do when stressful situations occur. Children can take breaths, count, write in a journal, draw a picture or get space. Practice with children. Help children notice what happens to their body when feeling angry and when calming down.
When children lose control, remind them of their options for calming down. Avoid making demands. Teaching new skills takes time and patience, for some children it takes many opportunities.
To learn more about self control, feelings and parenting, please feel free to email me at lmcintosh(at)childreach(dot)on(dot)ca.
Lisa McIntosh, Parent Educator
John Hoffman, columnist and regular writer for Today’s Parent, is assisting Dr. Lynn Loutzenhiser, a child clinical psychologist from the University of Regina, with an internet survey about parents’ experiences of baby and toddler sleep. The purpose of this study is to expand our understanding of babies and toddlers who sleep through the night and those who do not, how parents are affected by baby and toddler sleep, and parents’ attitudes towards and experience with the use of sleep training methods.
Participation is open to Canadian parents who have a baby or toddler between the ages of 6 and 24 months.
Parents will be asked about:
Ø Baby and toddler children’s sleep routines and patterns
Ø Night-waking and its impact on parent and child functioning
Ø Strategies they have used to manage sleep behaviours and how effective these methods were
Ø Their attitudes toward the use of sleep methods
Findings from this study will be reported in academic journals, Today’s Parent and other popular media.
The survey will be available on the internet between February 1 and March 1, 2009.
To participate, go to Dr. Loutzenhiser’s research website.
There’s still time to get your tickets for the Childreach Family Fun Festival being held on Sunday, February 22 from 11 am to 2 pm. at the Hellenic Community Centre. This year’s event is shaping up to be the best year yet, with the Tomato Soup Band, karaoke for the kids, a silent auction & chance draw, a magician, a face painter, a fabulous child-friendly brunch buffet, a self-serve sundae bar, a big loot bag for each child, a special gift for the adults, and so much more!
A fabulous event for the whole family – aunts, uncles and grandparents too! A fundraiser for us, but great value too. Tickets are $50 per adult, and each adult may be accompanied by 1 or 2 children. Additional children are $10. Call 519-434-3644, Ext. 36 to purchase your tickets.
Thank you, and we hope to see you there!
Jane Powers
Community Relations & Development
Be prepared! No one wants to think of the unimaginable, but 55 children are reported missing to police in Ontario every day. Volunteers from the Masonic Lodge will photograph, fingerprint and take DNA samples of your child. You will be provided with a disc for future identification purposes; information is then deleted from the system. The only thing retained is the permission slip.
Dates: Saturday, February 21, 2009 and Saturday, November 7, 2009
Time: 9 a.m. to 1:30 p.m.
Where: Childreach, 265 Maitland St. (just north of Horton St.)
Cost: FREE
To register for a 10-minute appointment per child, call 519-434-3644 x.10.
For more information about how the system works, click here.
Allergy Watch
If your child has constant earaches, a cold that won’t go away, hyperactivity, rashes, or any other health problem that recurs, you should suspect food allergies. Some of the most common allergens are wheat, dairy products, nuts, soy, eggs, and cow’s milk. The best way to detect an allergy is to keep a diary for a month (or as long as necessary) of exactly what your child eats and his behavioural and physical symptoms. Try to vary the diet during this time (e.g. if your child has a strawberry jam sandwich every day, you won’t be able to tell the difference day to day in their symptoms).
If you think you have discovered something, take it out of your child’s diet, and if the symptoms go way, you have found your culprit! You are the best detective for this problem, and the reward of a healthier and better behaved child is well worth the effort.
Make it Colourful
One of the ways to know you are feeding your child a nutritious, balanced meal is to make it colourful! For example, a serving of spaghetti with tomato sauce, meat, carrots and celery chunks and some parmesan cheese has lots of different colours (red, yellow, white, orange, brown, and green) and also contains many of the food groups (dairy, protein, vegetables, fruits, and grains).
Keep it Simple
The less processed a food is, the better it is for you and your children. Fortunately, it is usually the least expensive as well. As an example, whole wheat is better than white, a whole apple better than juice, and a homemade burger better than a fast food burger.
Have Fun
If you have a picky eater, you might try to create interest in vegetables and fruits by cutting them up in interesting shapes and giving them some fun names. How about some avocado boats, broccoli trees, banana wheels, carrot swords, and cheese building blocks?
Variety is Key
Appetites and tastes vary in children day to day and week to week according to growth and activity patterns. Remember that it is acceptable to get a balanced diet over a week rather than each day. If your child insists that Monday is carrot day, and Tuesday is macaroni and cheese day, relax and let them have it – just as long as overall they are getting all they need, and they don’t eat sweets and junk food for days on end. It is also acceptable if they just don’t feel like eating much some days – their bodies are smart at knowing what they need and don’t need. Just make sure they get enough fluids.
Contact your doctor if you have any concerns or questions as these are only general guidelines and may not apply to all children.
For more great information, see Eat Right Ontario.
Here are some more favourite outdoor winter fun activities:
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Build and decorate a snowman – radish eyes, carrot nose, scarf, hat, and buttons. Be sure to include the children’s ideas.
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Let the children throw snowballs at a target set up outside.
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To test the children’s balance, make tracks in the snow such as a straight line, a zig-zag line, a circle, square, etc.
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Using old spray bottles filled with coloured water, let the children make pictures in the snow.
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Examine snowflakes with a magnifying glass.
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Cover a piece of cardboard with felt, and place the cardboard in the freezer. Go outside, and let the snowflakes land on the board (they will last longer for examination).
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On a winter walk, have the children watch and listen for the sights and sounds of winter. For example, the trees are bare, people wear warm clothes, the days are shorter, boots crunching in the snow, listen to the wind howling.
