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Stress affects everyone! Our bodies and minds both respond when we get excited, fearful, challenged or anxious. Our brain tells our bodies to get ready to deal with these feelings and gets our body ready to “flee from danger” or to stand up and “fight it”. This helps us deal with things that threaten us. Special hormones are released in our body that prepares us to be alert and respond with lots of energy. This is a good thing once in awhile, but not when adults and children are constantly dealing with stress. These raised levels of hormones can make us feel very tired, create sore muscles and make it hard to fight off illness. One group of researchers found that parents with more worries also had children who were sick more often.
Some signs of stress in children:
| Behaviours | Body | Mind | Feelings |
| Whining Crying Nail Biting Fighting Low appetite or eating more Day dreaming |
Headaches Stomach-aches Fast heartbeat Being cold Poor sleeping Tired Illness |
Forgetful Easily distracted Confused Can’t concentrate Unreasonable Can’t problem solve |
Fear Anxiety Sad or Angry Panic Overly sensitive Helpless Frustrated |
What can we do?
Eat healthy food, get lots of exercise, get enough sleep, learn to reduce or manage stress, spend time with your children, laugh a lot, ask your children if they are worried about anything and really listen to them, minimize competitive activities, provide regular routines, make a stress management list (like deep breathing) and post it where all family members can use it.
Mary Ann Avey, Parent Educator
Nobody’s Perfect is a free parenting program for parents of children from 0-6 years. At a Nobody’s Perfect group, you and other parents will talk about things like:
- why children act the way they do
- how to keep children safe
- what children can do at different ages
- how to keep your children healthy
- how to feel good about yourself and your kids
Free child care for children and snacks are provided.
When: Fridays, November 6 to December 18 (no class November 20)
Time: 9:30 to 11:30 a.m.
Where: Northbrae Public School, 335 Belfield St., London, ON
To register or for more information, call Marg at 519-434-3644 x38.
The London Police, Children’s Aid Society, Thames Valley District School Board, and the City of London have organized a free seminar about internet safety on Wednesday, May 6 from 7 to 9 p.m at Central Secondary School. Bruce Cowper, the Chief Security Advisor for Microsoft Canada, will be speaking to families on the good, the bad and the ugly sides of the world wide web.
Children are welcome, and childminding will be provided for younger children. Pre-registration is required for childminding. Call 519-661-5575 and refer to bar code 207198 or visit the Spectrum website.
Canadian statistics say that 56% of girls 12-13 years are unhappy with their bodies and how they look; 40% of girls 9-10 have considered dieting. Why is this important? Positive self esteem is the best protection girls can have in today’s world. If she believes she is special, she will speak up for and respect herself and others.
To develop confidence in girls:
· Focus praise on her actions and effort, not just her physical features. “You had a strong voice reading the story,” “You put a creative outfit together.”
· Encourage her to praise herself and self evaluate.
· Listen respectfully to her opinions (even when they differ from yours) and acknowledge her feelings.
· Support her interests and talents.
· Teach her about fitness and healthy eating; challenge ideas of the perfect body.
· Provide sports opportunities.
· Give girls time to complete tasks before “rescuing them.”
· Watch television and read together; discuss how woman are shown. “What is realistic about these girls (not realistic)?” “What do you think (or feel) the show is saying about women?”
· Teach her to be wise about advertising.
· Choose books that show girls as smart and capable.
· Teach girls how to cook, as well as shovel snow and replace lightbulbs.
· Women should be role models for girls: speak kindly about yourself and others, model healthy body image, celebrate womanhood.
Confident girls are not mean to others because they don’t need to hurt someone to feel good inside. Children who bully lack empathy and have low self esteem.
To learn more about self esteem or bullying, please feel free to email me directly at lmcintosh(at)childreach(dot)on(dot)ca.
Written by: Lisa McIntosh, Parent Educator
This well-known children’s entertainer from Vancouver has performed to sold-out crowds of young children for the past 13 years!
She is returning on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 to perform two concerts at Forest City Community Church. Group tickets (15 or more seats) are available at the early bird price of $7 each and may be booked at any time by calling Jane at 519-434-3644, Ext. 36. Individual tickets will be available in March.
The first concert is at 9:15 a.m. and is specifically for preschoolers. The second concert is at 11 a.m. and is trilingual – English, French and a little Spanish too! There will also be a workshop for teachers/parents/caregivers in the evening of Wednesday, April 22. Click here to go directly to Charlotte Diamond’s website.
The 5th Annual Home Child Care Conference “Commitment to Caring” is a full-day conference to rejuvenate caregivers by offering workshops, networking and vendor shopping opportunities. Choice of workshops, continental breakfast and lunch are all included with conference registration.
Date: Saturday, April 18, 2009
Time: 8:00 a.m. – 3:30 p.m.
Place: Fanshawe College, M Building, London, Ontario
Registration Fee: $50 before April 4, $60 by April 14 deadline.
Call Sheri at Childreach, 519-434-3644 ext 39 for more information and/or to register. For a full brochure, click here.
Children need to know what is expected of them, which behaviours are appropriate and which are not. Providing clear expectations is important. For example, if a child hits her baby sister, telling her “that’s not nice” is unclear because it doesn’t explain what she should not do. A clear response is: “Hitting hurts. Be gentle when you touch the baby.” Try telling children what to do, instead of what not to do. Say “walk” instead of “don’t run.”
Establishing rules for a family can be hard. Rules should be fair and appropriate to the child’s age. It is overwhelming to children when there are too many rules and difficult for parents to follow through. Rules need to be explained many times. Rules need to be simple and clear. Be consistent with rules in your family. If the rule is “no shoes in the house,” the rule should be for everyone in the family, including adults. As children get older they can be included in making rules for the family. They are more likely to follow rules, be cooperative and avoid power struggles when they are part of developing family rules.
When rules are broken, children are testing limits. They are looking to their parents to see if this is a rule they really have to follow. Be calm, but firm in keeping to the rule.
For more information about parenting, rules and power struggles, you can email me at lmcintosh(at)childreach(dot)on(dot)ca.
Lisa McIntosh, Parent Educator
Self control is a skill everyone wants for their children. Parents often ask “What should I do when my children are angry and upset?”
Start with gaining self control:
· Figure out what behaviours push your buttons. What makes you feel angry or frustrated with your children?
· Understand your physical signals when feeling angry or distressed. For example: clenched teeth, hot cheeks, clenched fists.
· Choose a strategy to get calm. Try: slow breaths, counting, getting space, asking for help.
It‘s important parents remain calm when children are upset and angry. Children are impulsive; they react when things don’t go the way they want. Parents can teach children how to get calm and gain self control. Teaching happens when everyone is calm. Talk to children later about upsetting situations, when they’re calm. Acknowledge their feelings and help them learn about emotions using stories, pictures and words. Tell children what they can do when stressful situations occur. Children can take breaths, count, write in a journal, draw a picture or get space. Practice with children. Help children notice what happens to their body when feeling angry and when calming down.
When children lose control, remind them of their options for calming down. Avoid making demands. Teaching new skills takes time and patience, for some children it takes many opportunities.
To learn more about self control, feelings and parenting, please feel free to email me at lmcintosh(at)childreach(dot)on(dot)ca.
Lisa McIntosh, Parent Educator
